Germ Warfare: Who's side are YOU on?

I'm starting to turn into Peggy from that Seinfeld episode with James Spader as the recovering alcoholic. Peggy was the germophobe who is fearful of Elaine's germs. My favorite part of that episode was when Elaine rubbed the keyboard on her butt. "How 'bout some germs for your keyboard, huh? How 'bout that?"

I've caught myself wiping telephone receivers, utensils, and door knobs before I use them. I even carry a bottle of hand sanitizer. The weird thing is that I don't do any of that stuff when I'm at the gym, and the gym is supposed to be the germ capital of the world (with Paris Hilton's cooch coming in a close second). Jane T. has been really bad about spreading germs at the office. I've caught her sneezing in open air on several occasions. I've seen her wipe her nose with her hands and handle paperwork. BLARGH!

But the worst things he does is lick her fingers when she is sorting papers. EEEEEEEEEW! She doesn't lick one finger, she licks like two or three fingers and she does it for every paper. Then she hands them to me and after what seems like an eternity of hesitation, I take the papers and eyball my bottle of hand sanitizer. It wouldn't be as bad if she had better smelling breath.

Doesn't anyone realize that the bird flu is just on the horizon? Dr. Gupta said so! If it were up to me, we'd all be living in antibacterial domes. Howard Hughes ain't got nothin on me! A lot of people who know me well tell me to not be so anal about germs and they're sort of right. With all the stuff that I've put my mouth on in the past ten years, I shouldn't preaching about germophobia. ZING!