ZZZZAP!

I decided last week that I did not want to be a slave to the anti-depressants. I want my happiness to be genuine, not drug-induced. My doctor told me to take 15 mg of Paxil every day instead of my normal 30 mg. Two days after I start the decreased dosage, I began to feel like lukewarm diarrhea. My energy levels dropped, I'm dehydrated, my appetite was all over the place, and I started getting this 'detached' feeling. It was as if I was the star of a movie and someone was watching my DVD but the DVD was all scratched up. I'd be walking and suddenly I find myself about 10 feet from where I thought I was. It's sort of like the concept of "missing time" that alien abductees experience. Sometimes my mind would skip around for a few seconds, and sometimes I'd skip whole chapters. At any rate, I knew that no scratch remover could help me out.

The most disconcerting feeling I'm going through is the periodic electric shocks. It's like someone is following me around with an electric prod and shocking me at random intervals. I just hope I don't get a really bad one while I'm walking up a flight of stairs. That would be uber embarrassing. I always keep condoms and lube in my gym bag (just in case) and it would be weird for the paramedics to find that.

If you know me and you hear that something bad has happened to me, please inform the officials that there is nothing wrong with carrying cherry flavored lube and that I'm allergic to penicillin.