Red Sox, White Sox, all I care about is cocks

My brother-in-law is from Boston and I live in Chicago. You can imagine the hell I'm going through having to deal with him hounding me about the rivalry between the Red Sox and the White Sox. He calls me up and yells "RED SOX BABEEEEEE!" and I'm like, yeah whatever. I live on the north side, so I kind of have to be a Cubs fan... but to be honest, I'm a Giants fan. I used to go to Giants games when it was called Candlestick Park. Now it's 3com park or something like that. Wouldn't it be funny if Trojan sponsored a sports arena? They'd do condom demonstrations on baseball bats.

Although the sound of a sports announcer giving the recap of the day's sports makes my head hurt somethin' fierce, I was able to watch the recap last night while I was folding my laundry. Then they showed this average joe commenting on the White Sox, and he kept saying "we" like HE had something to do with the victory. He was all stocky and gross and the only popup he'd seen in his life was in a pastry shop. I'm sick of people taking the credit for what the players do. Fans have gotten so over-the-top lately that they're starting to make the teams look bad. Remember that guy who interfered by trying to catch the ball at the Cubs game?

I'm perfectly happy sitting with my beer, oggling the men in their tight uniforms. Baseball players have the hugest bulges in their pants. Yes I have a one-track mind. What's wrong with that?