Yeah, uh huh

People just talk to me in foreign languages, expecting me to understand what they're saying. I have the sort of "ethnic" look that gives people enough comfort to bombard me with foreign tongue. I'm all about foreign tongue, don't get me wrong! Especially when they wiggle it. Ha ha. Ahem.

Anyway, this woman starts speaking to me in Spanish while I'm waiting for the walk signal at the crosswalk. I expected the light to change really quickly, but it didn't. I just chuckled in response to what she said and I hoped the light would change over so I could walk away without being rude. Then she says something else and it seemed to be a question, so I just shrugged and said "eh..." like I was unsure about it. Then she laughed and started talking some more. She finished up with a big laugh and I pointed to her with my hands like two guns and went "ah!" And she got a big kick out of it. Apparently, we had a whole conversation and I didn't know what we were talking about.

The ability to form responses based on a person's intonation and body language is invaluable in the world of gay men, especially in a bar or club. If you work it the right way, you can get yourself invited to a nice little three-way with a circuit boy named Jake and his roommate Miguel. I met Jake and Miguel in Houston a few years ago at a club. The music was so loud, but Jake kept talking to me. I didn't want to be rude, so I just pretended that I heard what he was saying and nodded or shook my head. Before I knew it, we were on our way back to his place and Miguel was there half dressed. You can imagine what went on next, so I won't bore you with the details.