Don't make me vomit!

I was poking around on the internet and I came across this blog by a high school kid named Cody. He describes himself as an all-american boy who plays football and blah blah blah. I don't know what the rest of his profile said, but I tuned out when I read the words "All-American." Newsflash, Codester... AMERICA IS STOLEN LAND. If you're so All-American, where's your wigwam?

In every post of his blog, he tells his girlfriend that he loves her. Cue the violin music and bring me a vomit bucket. Is he gonna love her when she gains forty pounds from the pregnancy? I doubt it. The poor boy can't even spell. He hasn't even been outside of Texas and he thinks he knows everything. I have a feeling that my tax dollars will be going towards his Lone Star Card. That's the Texas version of food stamps.

My advice to Cody: WISE UP! And never refuse dick. Ha ha. It's not too late to be gay, buddy.