Me Fail English? That's Unpossible!

There aren't a lot of things that make me crazy. I'd like to think that I have a lot of self-control when it comes to tolerating other people and their little "things." But one thing I can't stand is terrible spelling and grammar. I'm playing an online multiplayer game, Final Fantasy XI, and I can't begin to describe how bad it is when people are chatting. I mean, we're supposed to be slaughtering goblins, not the English language! Literacy is one of the most important things a person should have in life. I know that the literacy rate is pretty high in America, compared to other countries. I also know that the people who CAN read and write don't read and write very well.

How do you feel when you read a memo or a web site that is loaded with spelling errors? Don't you want to find a stick so you could beat the author senseless? That's how I feel. What's worse is that we've got technology to help them hide the fact that they're clods (it's spellcheck), but they never use it! Run-on sentences, fragments, interjections... is nothing sacred?

My plan is to combine the forces of the stylish and sassy Gay Mafia, the fearsome and secretive Yakuza, and the Modern Language Association. Basically, it'll be fiercely-dressed ninjas who go around threatening people if they use bad grammar or spell things incorrectly. This brilliant plan will eliminate crime AND illiteracy. Everybody wins!