Kiddies, kiddies everywhere - bad ass kids, but don't depsair!

A big congratulations goes out to my girl GWEN! She just got a promotion and she just transferred to another theatre in Houston. Gwen kicks major ass when it comes to being ghetto fabulous. If I were a straight thug, I would totally make armies of babies with Gwen. There's nothing cuter than a Blasian baby in a stroller with his or her HOT ghetto fab parents looking all good with their bling.

Once I stop being all crazy, I think I'll make a good father. My kids would never be on an episode of Super Nanny. I just can't believe that kids can get that bad. It made me sick when I saw that little bebe kid biting, hitting, and talking back to Super Nanny. Now I'm not a racialist or anything, but have you ever seen a Filipino kid talking back to their parents? Have you seen a Filipino kid leave a dinner table without finishing all their food? Have you ever seen a Filipino parent cook food according to what their kids prefer? I rest my case.

Here's my plan to bring about a better tomorrow where kids are concerned:

1. Introduce contraceptive Louis Vuitton purses - it will be a special leather that secretes orthotricyclen into the woman's skin. That'll prevent the yuppies from multiplying.

2. Bring back the open handed slap - The next time a child tells their parent to shut up, anyone in the vicinity has a free pass to send that kid flying across the room with a SMACK!

3. Clone Super Nanny and have one in every household - She can whip the kids into shape and dad can have a nice voluptuous british vixen to ogle. Everyone wins!

4. Reunite the Spice Girls - Haven't you noticed that the world hasn't been the same since Geri Halliwell left the group? This one is more for my benefit. But it's still necessary.

5. Appoint certain children as supreme leaders of other children - Let's face it. Some kids are just better than others. My nieces and nephew are FANTASTIC and cute as well. So are Joe's nieces and nephews. Could it be that they've all got some Filipino in them? Interesting!!!