Gangsta Lovin'

This week I encountered another type of gay man that makes my jeans feel all tight. There's a gentleman at the Chase Bank on Bryn Mawr (the one with the bulletproof glass teller windows) who caught my eye with his thick muscular build and his buzz cut hair that was gelled forward. While other employees wore white undershirts, he wore a black one with his silver chain barely showing because he's such a rebel. He called me over by nodding his head back with a raised eyebrow and a smile, saying "how you doin?" and I was immediately disarmed by his thuggish charm. I got all giddy and I felt like I turned into a pile of goo.

The Thug who has his Shit Together (or TST) is another type of gay man that I absolutely love. He ranks up there with the Hot Gay Nerd (HGN) and the Dazed Circuit Boi (DCB). The TST exhibits a lot of thuggish aspects like the silver or gold chains, the thick booty, the car with the airplane wing spoiler, and the strict adherence to the "Thug Life" code of ethics. He lays there in bed talking dirty to you and squeezes your ass while you ride him. He wears basketball shoes with a tuxedo. In every picture you take of him, he has his head thrown back with his lips pursed and one eyebrow raised. You find the TST working at the most uncharacteristic of places such as banks or museums.

I knew that the Chase TST was gay because we spent a good amount of time flirting. I complimented his chain and he blushed. Then he told me that the picture on my ID was 'damn cute' because of my smile. Then I told him that I don't usually come to this particular location and he replied with: "dude, you need to start comin' to DIS one! I'm here every day."

I really like my acronym gay boys. I wish I could have them ready to come out like they were Pokemon cards. I'd be at a circuit party and I'd need to know which dance moves to use when I'm up on a box, so I'd call the DCB: "DAZED CIRCUIT BOI, I CHOOSE YOU!!!" Then when I get ruffed up by some punk who wants me to go down on him, I'll call my TST to save me: "GO, THUG WHO HAS HIS SHIT TOGETHER! DEFEND ME!"

The one disadvantage of being attracted to a TST is that he'd expect complete monogamy. Since everyone knows that I'm not into having boyfriends, the TST isn't in the cards for me. To the TST, I'd be considered a ho' and thugs just hate it when a ho' comes into his life and only wants him for his body.