Even More Gullible's Travels

I was in San Francisco this past weekend and I passed by a store in the Castro that was selling swimsuits for $12. I was in desperate need of sexy swimwear because I was slowly beginning to accept the fact that I wasn't going to get rid of my gut anytime soon and that I should just go like gung ho in the pool. Also, who would be stupid enough to pass up a sale?

I have problems buying underwear and swimsuits because of my badonkadonk and my tree trunk legs. It's not bragging, trust me. Just imagine two giant redwoods stuck to the peach from James and the Giant Peach and that's what my lower body looks like. Anyway, a gentleman came up to me and asked if I needed help and I said yes. I explained my dilemma and he pulled some selections for me to try on.

Then he followed me to the changing area, where he peeked his head in and offered his critique... along with some borderline inappropriate comments about my junk in the trunk. I was also told that the store would be closing soon, so I didn't have a lot of time to dilly-dally.

Just then, a guy came up to the changing area and said: "Kevin, what are you doing? Leave the customers alone!" I was horrified to learn that the overly helpful gentleman was in fact NOT an employee of the store.

I thought a lot about why I didn't pick up on it sooner. I'm usually pretty perceptive when it comes to separating normal people from the oglers, but somehow this poser was able to get past the sensors. Was I too trusting? Was I just gullible? Nope. I secretly enjoyed every minute of it. The truth is that every now and then, some people just like to have their goodies drooled over.

No matter what anyone says, I believe that it's a perfectly acceptable form of self-esteem reinfocement. The people who are quick to tell you that it's unhealthy and immoral are the same people who sleep in twin beds with their significant others and only have sex once a month. I don't see what the problem is!

When you think about it, the poser had to have had major cajones to even attempt such a thing as pretend to be an employee just to get a look at a guy's half naked body. Any schmoe can whistle and make obscene gestures at someone who they think is drop dead gorgeous, but it takes a gutsy son of a bitch to do what Kevin did. That's why it made me feel good.

I can't help but wonder how many other people have fallen victim to cheesy schemes like that. It kind of makes you wonder why store employees don't wear anything to identify themselves like uniforms or name tags. In the mean time, watch out for those clothing store predators!