Gaycubus

Something has been happening to me for weeks and it's really beginning to disturb me. I haven't thought much about it until recently because now it's starting to happen every night. When I wake up in the morning, I find myself in a strange position with my pajama pants pulled down to my ankles and my shirt completely off. I'll either be face down or face down spread eagle if my pants are completely off. I've come to the conclusion that I'm being visited by an Incubus or Succubus.

In the middle ages, the legend of the Incubus/Succubus was used to explain away mysterious pregnancies or rapes. The Incubus was a male demon who had sex with women and the Succubus was the female counterpart who had sex with men. Since I'm gay, what is visiting ME at night? Is it an Incubus who has a thing for guys with Asian Ghetto booties? Is it a Succubus who likes to strap one on? The very thought of some demon having their way with my helpless, supple body makes me fearful... yet slightly aroused.

There's also the possibility that someone has a key to my apartment and is coming at night to have sex with me. It could be my landlord. Every time I go to drop my rent check off, he looks at me with those hungry eyes like he's Columbus and I'm America and he wants to "discover" me. Oh lord, why do people have to wait until I'm asleep to have sex with me? If that isn't a kick in the teeth, I don't know what is.