A Trannie's Sage Advice

Every morning on the train, I see this trannie who always talks to the person next to her. It reminded me of Tia, a trannie that used to ride the city bus with me every morning when I was in the seventh grade. Tia was one of those career girls who had a normal 9 to 5 and a cabaret show in the evening. I think she knew that I'd be a big queen when I grew up, so she took me under her wing and gave me all sorts of advice. She'd tell me what to do when someone was bullying me, and she'd give me tips on how to make the most of my lunch money: "Baby, stay away from those tater tots! They'll go straight to your thighs! Go with a nice salad and a bean burrito."

Tia gave me two valuable pieces of advice when I last saw her during the last week of school. She said: "Don't change yourself just to please anyone" and "Never refuse dick"

If I had listened to Tia when I was a teenager, I would have had an easier time getting where I am emotionally. And I'm talking about the changing advice, not the dick advice... though the dick advice is certainly true.