The Feminine Mystique

I've noticed that I do pretty damn well when it comes to flirting with women. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I have this tendency to make women crazy. Maybe it's because I'm so googly goggley milky orby sucky titty yum yum cockle tidy snuggle bosoms drop drawers gorgeous. Ha ha. No. I think it's because they're jealous of my finely manicured nails.

I'm a big hit with the older women. I remember dancing at a club in Houston and I was almost kidnapped by a pair of River Oaks biddies with their Chanel suits and Louis Vuitton oversized purses on the dance floor. River Oaks is a wealthy area of Houston that's kind of like Wisteria Lane but with bigger driveways and cuter gardeners. The two women cornered me and pulled me off to the side to buy me drinks and I felt a little uncomfortable because one of them looked scary. I think they wanted to have sex with me because they kept licking their lips and touching my nipples. Eeew. Fortunately, one of my dick dancer friends rescued me and brought my drunk ass home.

Women are such an enigma to me. There's just so much about them that I don't understand. I've always wondered about the half-squat. I've heard women talk about it but I have yet to see it. It's when the toilet seat is too dirty so they have to squat without touching the seat to take a whazz. That is awesome. I didn't know they had so much control of it that they can aim. I also wonder what it feels like to be titty fucked. My chest isn't big enough to do that and I don't think it'll ever be. I just wonder sometimes.