My Gay Aura... YOU CAN'T SEE IT!?!?

I saw my friend Benny at the gym yesterday. He used to come into the pro shop at the Naperville Ballys when I worked in the pro shop. Benny is a cute ex-fratboy who now works as a lawyer somewhere. He's definitely a talker! If you're not careful, you could find yourself stuck in a Benny conversation for a good hour or even longer. So Benny corners me while I'm on the dip machine and he's going on about how many girls he slept I last saw him. I don't think Benny knows that I'm gay because he keeps trying to go on double dates with him and his girl of the week. I try to drop subtle hints about my sexuality, but he doesn't catch on. I keep staring at the huge bulge in his pants and he just thinks that I'm sad all the time because he notices that my eyes are always looking down. What a sweetie. What a naive, big bulgy pants sweetie.

I don't know how people can think that I'm straight. I just assumed that I had the gay aura constantly surrounding me. You know, the "I give great head, just ask your dad" aura? Ryan Carnes has that aura. So does Tobey Maguire. I think I should tell Benny the next time I see him. Or maybe I should shake his cock instead of his hand when we're changing in the locker room. That'll definitely clear up any confusion... and maybe I can score a conversion. I'm a great converter. All I need is a blindfold, a bottle of tequila, and five minutes.