Sex Toy Story

While shopping for an appropriate gift to commemorate my friend recent taking of the oath of American citizenship, I decided to hit the sex shops. Why, you ask? Well I think that a bottom without a dildo is like a day without sunshine. It's the 'must have' sex toy for any gay man, and now that he's an American citizen, he's officially fucked. HA HA HA! How's that for appropriate?

Then I went to Tulip, a lovely adult toy store that sells quality, non-porous, hypo-allergenic products, and I saw a product called the iBuzz. It's a bullet vibrator that works with your mp3 player to produce marvelous sensations that go with the beat of the music you've got playing. It's a little bulky and not very pretty to look at, but it's a great way to spice up your morning sessions at the gym. Just make sure that no one is looking when you take it off... or out. Yikes!

Amazon.com has the one that I saw at Tulip, but there's a site from the UK that has the second generation iBuzz. This baby has TWO bullets and is meant for couples, but selfish queens like me enjoy having double the pleasure. It's a little more pricey than the original, but I think that it's a must have for any iPod enthusiast who also enjoys sex toys.



A lot of people think that people who purchase dildos, vibrators, and other sex toys are weird and kinky (in a negative way). These are the same people who have sex in the missionary position, or prudes like my ex-boyfriend whose name rhymes with "schmuck." They don't realize that it's a great way to explore undiscovered regions of your body and your sexuality in general. It's a fun way to achieve sexual pleasure without the unpleasantness of having a boyfriend who wants to cuddle or talk about feelings afterward.