Buy me that!

Last month I was at a toy store in Andersonville and I overheard a mother talking to her son. She was asking if he liked a particular toy and he told her that he couldn't get it because it was over 20 dollars and he only had three gold stars. This was obviously a private moment between mother and son, so I did what any other gay man would do and I went in closer so I could hear more.

Apparently, a gold star is rewarded for good behavior at home. Each star has a value of five dollars. I think that this is an excellent way to reward children and to teach them the value of money. The kid couldn't have been more than five years old and he was checking prices and comparing toys like a smart consumer.

I remember going to a Target in Naperville and seeing a mother buy toys for her snotty kids, probably named Schuy'lhuar (pronounced Skylar) and Dakota. "I want this! Buy me this! Are we going to McDonalds?" The mother just wanted her kids to shut up, and the only non-violent way she could think of doing so was to buy them whatever they wanted.

In the TLC show, "Honey, We're Killing the Kids," parents are shown a computer simulated progression of their children's bodies if they continue feeding them junk food. It's pretty gross and I think that the computer people take some artistic freedom with the after results because a lot of the images are of the 'kids' frowning or looking extremely menacing.

They should do a similar show titled "Honey we're spoiling the kids!" where they show the types of sexual partners their kids would have in ten years (five years if they live in Arkansas). I have no idea why they'd do that for this show, but it came from my imagination... does that shock you?

The point is that spoiled kids end up jerks in the future and it would be a lot easier for me to find dates if there weren't so many jerks around. So stop spoiling your kids!