I'm with stupid

After much consideration, I've decided to attempt to revive our defunct book club. Last year, a bunch of gay men from different generations, with different backgrounds, and different opinions decided to get together to read books and discuss books over a lovely cup of coffee. It was supposed to be like a gay version of The View, except there were only three people who showed up to discuss the book... and one of the three didn't finish reading it. Ok so it wasn't anything like The View.

The problem with having a gay book club is that most gay people's schedules are booked solid. We've got bars to drink at, waiters to ogle, cocks to suck, and mothers to complain about to our therapists. We don't have time to meet to discuss books, no matter how mind-boggling they may be. Have you ever heard of a successful and regular gay book group? Neither have I. So why do we keep doing it?

My answer comes as a result of a conversation with a waiter at Charlie's Ale House last year. I was having dinner with my friend Scott and we were discussing the importance of television. We started talking about the distance from the viewer to the screen (or "throw" in the world of projection), and we decided to ask the waiter for his opinion. Somehow, he didn't think our subject matter was enlightening enough, so he said something to me that came out like this:

"Uh, well there ARE other things to do. Do you even READ?"

It was as if the entire restaurant fell silent at the bold statement made by the overcritical server, who BTW had to read the specials off of a little paper. The nerve! He was insinuating that all young, nubile, rippling, ghetto-bootied, Filipino guys sit around lazily and watch television. Nothing could be further from the truth! We also play video games!

But seriously, a lot of people get defensive when they feel that their intelligence is questioned. It happens to the best of us. This is another example of presumption on the part of small-minded individuals to undermine the self esteem of unsuspecting guys. They do it because they're afraid that they, themselves, are stupid. It's like when closeted homosexuals act homophobic towards people who are out and proud.

Just remember that reading books doesn't make someone smart. Not sleeping with your best friend's cute father (the one with the enormous bulge in his swimming trunks) who liquors you up with rum and coke and wants to "experiment" with you because you're so down to earth and you'd NEVER tell his wife because he thinks you're so trustworthy... THAT's smart.