Travel Woes

I had to take a shuttle to the airport in Atlanta yesterday and I was afraid of having to interact with the other people during the 1.5 hour long ride. I am a very social person in social situations, and I don't really count car rides as social situations. I really hate traveling and I only want to be left alone while on a plane or in a car. If I'm ever approached by someone who wants to have a conversation, I have three things that usually get me out of it:

1. I play the "fresh off the boat Asian" card and pretend that I don't speak English very well.
2. I do some kind of accent like British or Scottish because people think they're hard to talk to.
3. I pretend to be from Texas.

During the extremely difficult ride to Atlanta, I was distressed to learn that the man sitting to my right was from Scotland. He tried to talk to me, so I wanted to pretend that I was hardcore Asian. At that moment, an Asian couple got into the shuttle van and sat in front of me. DAMN! I decided to use the Texas accent because if I get annoyed by hearing a Texas accent, then I would hope that others would also. Just then, the man on my left asked where in Texas I was from because he was from Houston. DAMN! I spent the entire ride listening to the Scot and the Houstonian talking back and forth and asking my opinion about the gas crisis. At that moment, I wished that my tongue was a sac filled with cyanide so I could bite into it and the nightmare would be over. What are the odds that my three safety nets would be unusable? If you want to talk about odds, then let me tell you about how my plane eventually got struck by lightning. Yeah, God knows when homos fly. But that's a story for another day.

While I was wating for my plane, I told my friend about my experience and he said that I was just a natural bitch and that I should have indulged them in idle conversation. He went on to say that a little chit chat wouldn't kill me and that I was being a grump. Why should I be the one to make THEIR trip comfortable? I don't think it makes me a bitch to keep to myself. In fact, I can be a very social person in certain situations. I just don't see travel as a social situation. It's more of a glimpse into the Eye of Hell for me with all the trashy people who fly these days. Hmph... I'm not a bitch.

On the second plane home (after the first one was hit by God's wrath), I had the pleasure of sitting next to the biggest complainer on earth... or in this case, the sky. Nothing was to her liking. The soda tasted flat. The seats didn't recline far enough. The lavatory was too small. Then she complained about how shaky the plane ride was. I had a rough week, so I decided to say something to her. I don't know exactly what I said because I was so upset and tired of her whining. I do remember telling her something about walking to Chicago or getting her pilot's license so she could fly the plane. Then she said I was a jerk and she changed her seat. Well now, apparently I AM a bitch.