Stupid Gym Folk, vol. 4: The Line King

If you go to the gym from 6PM to 8PM, you should expect to wait in line for a machine. Fortunately, I was able to snag a free stairclimber without having to wait because I'm cool like that. The stairclimbers are in a high-traffic area next to the personal trainers' offices so there's no clear area where people can wait in a line to use them.

Five minutes into my workout, a machine opens up (still covered in sweat) and two men make a beeline for it. It was like two women reaching for a dress at Marshall Field at the same time. The two men who were obviously queens started to argue about who was waiting first. I expected one of them to give it up to the other, but that didn't happen. And here I thought grown men could be civil to one another. Apparently I was wrong.

The men argued about stupid things like where the line was, why the line couldn't start where the other guy was waiting, and why they should be first to use the machine. I looked down at my machine and it read 9:35. The argued for over four minutes about the line. The more feminine of the two men went to get a staff member so they could resolve the issue and things got worse from that point. The poor staff member didn't know what to do because quite frankly, they're used to people being more mature than that. I looked down at the time on my machine and it was past 17:00.

After the staff member was unable to resolve the issue, the feminine man finally got frustrated and gave up the machine. He waited in the spot where he argued the line should start and guess what happened thirty seconds later... go ahead, guess. Yep, the machine right next to the other guy opened up and the feminine man had this look on his face like Karma bitch slapped him. The feminine man had an opportunity to save his dignity by going on the machine next to the guy he was arguing with, but he chose the cowardly path as so many feminine gay men do. He waited twelve more minutes for another free machine to open up.

Was all that hulabaloo worth it? I just don't understand effeminite men sometimes. Why do they have to be such bitches? They swallow so many things when they're whoring around with other peoples' boyfriends, so why can't they swallow their pride?