Icelandic Fury revisited

February marks the tenth anniversary of the time Bjork beat the tar out of that reporter in Bangkok. Apparently, "Welcome to Bangkok" is Icelandic for "Step up, bitch!" The footage is all over the place and you can google it if you want to re-live the tender moments of our girl Bjork opening a can on that woman. Who knew?

If I could get away with unleashing my fury like that, I would do it more often. If someone in a car comes out of a parking lot and stops right on the sidewalk as I'm coming along, I will put my man bag down and issue the challenge like they did in the old days: "Sir, you have obstructed my path with your mechanical contraption. For this, you must pay!" Then I'll take up a fighting stance reminiscent of some lost Eastern martial art and I'll let out a warcry so fierce that he'd freeze with intimidation. Man would that be cool, or what? You can't do that now. I got in trouble for spitting on someone's car when they stopped on the sidewalk like that. Yeah I know, spitting is so hetero.

Now we live in a world of restraining orders and permits. Oh, don't come near me because I've got a restraining order out on you! Boo hoo. Do you have a permit for that knife? Let me see your permit! While we're at it, let's see if you've paid your iPod tax. You don't have an iPod? What kind of conformist are you!?!? You're coming with me!!!