Say who's on the what, now?

Every time I go to the Subway on Clark and Wellington, the workers there are always speaking Punjabi and I'm sick of it! They talk and giggle and they know NOTHING about customer service. I only go there because my boss loves the fuckin sandwiches there. Blargh!

It's extremely rude to speak in another language when other people don't know what the hell you're saying. I just get the creepy feeling that those women are gossiping about how big they think my penis is. They know I have big hands and big feet for a person of my height, so I think that they are fantasizing about mister winkie! I need one of those universal translators like in Star Trek. Then I'll know what they're really talking about. I will also be able to communicate with them by saying "Didn't your mama ever tell you that it was rude to talk about penises when you're making someone's sandwich?"