No, There Ain't No Julio Here!

When I got my new cell phone two months ago, the young man at the Sprint Store told me that I could get a bigger discount if I changed my phone number. I really hoped that I'd get a phone number that could spell something like 555-JUGS or 555-LICK. Unfortunately, my new phone number has zeros in it, so I can't spell anything. Damn.

Everything was fine until I started getting phone calls from people I've never even heard of. They've started to leave voicemail and I get a big kick out of what I'm hearing. Here are some of the ones I've gotten recently:

"Hi Jenny. Look, I know it's been a long time since we've spoken and I just want to say that I forgive you. I'm getting married in December and I really want you to be my maid of honor. Please call me back. I need to know as soon as possible. Bye."

"Where you at, fool? You told me to call you and I'm calling you but you ain't pickin up the phone! Is you goin to church today? Well call me cause we finna go eat."

I wonder if I should call these people and tell them that they've got the wrong number. I feel like Nell Carter on Gimme a Break! whenever that person would call looking for Julio. I really want to call that bride and mess with her mind. "HELP ME! Jenny kidnapped me and she's using me as a human sacrifice!" Ha ha.