Grocery Store Galavanting

I went to a spinning class last night at the gym and I was a little disappointed. Not only was I the only guy there, but everyone was cheating. What's the point of taking up the space and stinking up the room with cheap perfume (and why the hell would you wear that much perfume at a gym?) if you're not going to work hard? I was looking fantastic in my short little shorts and my dri-fit tank top. The instructor was a substitue and she didn't work it as intensely as our normal instructor. But I must say that she spoke very clearly and did her best to motivate everyone. By the end of the class, I was drenched in sweat and my muscles tingled with fulfillment... the same way I feel in post-coital bliss.

Before going home, I went to the grocery store to pick up something to eat because my cupboards were as bare as my skin on a beach in Mykonos. I have been craving meatloaf all week, but I opted for pasta instead. I didn't realize how cruisy my grocery store was. There were all sorts of sexually-charged glances being exchanged by the shoppers and store clerks. I was still wearing my shortie shorts and I got my fair share of hungry glances from the stocker boys. But I'm more into men. Right, Joe? ::wink::

I'm a power shopper, so it only took me a few minutes to get what I came for. I refuse to use the self-checkout kiosks because those things are evil. They never work and the person who watches over them is always a cunt. I went straight to the express lane and I bagged my own items. Then the two guys in line behind me made a comment that sounded like "when do we get to bag YOU?" If I had a canister of Spam in my hand, I would have thrown it. But all I had was this week's Soap Opera Digest. Hey shut up. Anyway, it amazes me that people are still lacking in manners these days. I didn't even get a compliment about my fast bagging skills.