The Botox Brigade

I just saw footage of the living Ken Doll. It's that dude that had all the plastic surgery and who claims to be the first person to have bicep implants. Now I've seen a lot in my twenty six years on this earth, and I can truly say that not many things gross me out. But seeing and hearing this guy flap his surgically altered gums about the wonders of plastic surgery just made me heave. Remember Jocelyn Wildenstein? ::shudders::

I'm not totally opposed to plastic surgery. I'd get restalin or botox if I needed it. But I don't need it right now because I take care of my skin like a madman. I wash with Dove Unscented, I avoid unnecessary exposure to sunlight, I apply a mild sunblock to combat UV rays, and I moisturize, moisturize, MOISTURIZE! I've also attempted an unorthodox method of fighting wrinkles by training myself to not get surprised or angry so my face won't form frown lines or crow's feet. Is that insane, or what? I can withstand hundreds of knock knock jokes and a few dirty limericks without even flinching. So tell Ponce de Leon to stop looking for that fountain! I got this one covered.

I tell my nieces and my nephew that they're fine just the way they are. That way, they can live their lives without the pressure of living up to society's image of perfection. They're army brats so they live in a bubble anyway. They move around so much that they don't have time to eat and be overweight. That's like the perfect diet - the army brat diet. Drop and give me fifty! Ha ha.