Stand your ground!

My friends dragged me to one of the neighborhood sports bars this past weekend, much to my chagrin. Some of the bartenders have a vision of what type of patrons belong in their precious sports bar, and are very cold to people who don't fit into that vision. It probably didn't help me to be dressed in form-fitting and brightly-colored clothing that night. Imagine someone zapping a 14 year old me with an aging beam and I grew into tiny, young clothes.

My charming smile had no effect on the bartender at that sports bar. I first asked if they served Shiner Bock, my absolute favorite beer, and he replied with a very rude look and a "um, no!" He was very short with me, he didn't tell me how much I owed for the drink I had to settle for, he snatched the money from my hand, he slammed the change back onto the counter, and didn't even open my beer for me. It's not like I pontificated into the bar like a heady medieval nobleman and demanded ale and juicy boy-wenches to suckle. I was very polite and was met with only discord.

The same thing happened to another young man, who I observed as he ordered his drink. This time, the bartender yelled at the boy because he couldn't understand what he was trying to say. He also chastised the boy for leaning against a bar stool that "belonged" to someone who had gotten up to use the restroom, even though there were four other empty bar stools next to that one. When the boy left, the bartender and the patron exchanged headshakes and nasty insults about the boy.

I later noticed that the boy needed another drink, but he admitted that he was afraid to order because the bartender was so mean. I think that is wrong.

That's exactly what the bartender wanted. He'd act very rudely to people who he thinks don't belong in the bar, hoping that they will never come again. And I'm not just being dramatic because this bar is known for its older and non-flaming/straight-acting clientèle. People should feel comfortable going anywhere, and not have to worry about whether they'd be treated differently because they're either too old, too young, not effeminate enough, too effeminate, male, female, transgendered, Ferengi, or not into sports.

Part of the reason why the gay community is so polarized is because people let it happen. The boy ended up leaving, probably because he was treated so badly. But it has to be handled like a schoolyard bully situation. When you back down, you let them win. I sat there at the bar and ordered beer after beer until the bartender interrupted MY conversations with others to ask me if I needed another drink. He even said "thank you" after I paid for my seventh and last beer of the evening.

As I stumbled to hail a taxi, I smiled to myself because the bartender didn't know that I coughed on the tip money that I gave him. Now he's got cooties. Nobody snatches money out of my hand at the start of the evening and gets away with it.