Keep Fishing

I was having lunch with someone recently and he kept pulling his pants up as we walked. His response to my puzzled glances was: "Ever since I lost all this weight, my pants just seem to sag like clown pants!"

Drawing upon my fantastic observation skills, I noticed that I'd never seen him wear that particular pair of pants. He was also wearing a belt with a huge belt buckle, so it didn't take me long to realize that he'd bought a larger pair of pants just to make people think he lost weight. The fact that he was wearing a belt kind of sucked the plausibility out of his previous statement about losing weight and his pants fitting like clown pants.

Perhaps it was his roundabout way of fishing for a compliment that made me brutally honest - I then told him that I really didn't notice that he'd lost any weight at all. All of a sudden, I'm the bad guy. He really didn't look any skinnier than he did any other day, so I was just being honest.

It really pisses me off when people expect you to compliment them on something that isn't all that noticeable to begin with. If you want to hear me say "you look like you've lost weight," then you have to earn that shit by actually losing weight. I don't hand out compliments like I do with blowjobs!