Papa, Can You Fear Me?

One of the storylines on General Hospital involves a man coming back to town after faking his death fifteen years earlier. His daughter, who was merely a child at the time of his 'death,' has grown up to be a brilliant young woman and she is deeply resentful towards him for being away for so long. This made me think about how it would be if my own father were to come back into my life.

I thought it was completely normal to grow up with just one parent. I guess I was fortunate to not feel incomplete when I saw families on television or in real life with a mommy and a daddy and little Billy and Janie playing in the yard with their dog, Spot. My sisters and I grew up just fine without a father. I have to admit that it was a little lonely without a male influence... and being a boy scout was so rough because all of the events were "Father/Son" and I was the kid who showed up alone for EVERYTHING and the scout leader had to be my 'father' for the day.

If my father showed up out of the blue, I think I'd be a little angry at him. Since I've never met my father, I really don't consider him as a part of my life that I missed because he was never there in the first place. You can't miss something you never had. It would just be awkward for everyone anyway. This is how I imagined our first encounter:

"Hi."
"Hi."
::long pause::
"Um, I have to go weigh my cat now. See ya."

I don't really have a cat, but leave it to me to think of the most oddball excuse to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

How do you think an old Portuguese man would react to the news that his long lost son is a big raging homo who is famous for this thing that he does with his tongue? Even though he hasn't been a part of my life, I still feel the need to prove myself to him in case he doesn't respect me for being gay. He used to be a boxer, so I need to become an ultimate fighting champion so he'd be afraid of me. Then when I see him and he knows that I'm a fabulous gay man, he'd kind of flinch when I go to shake his hand out of fear of me ripping his arm off and using it as a doorstop.

There ya go, all you psychology majors. Go ahead and have fun with this post. Gay man, daddy issues, violent undertones, acting out, and the need to prove my worth.