Tell me more! TELL ME MORE!

I've been having lunch with my boss (because I have to) and he's been really annoying lately. He talks with his mouth full and it's like looking at a monster from a science fiction movie... a leathery-skinned, fauxhawked, overly-tanned, mac make up, salad-eating science fiction monster who cruises young men. The problem that I have with my boss is that he makes up incredible stories to fill the empty air and I have a hard time believing anything he says anymore.

The latest installment of the boss queer's drama took place at Sidetrack on Sunday. He was being harassed by a drunk man who kept trying to expose himself to him. That part I believe. What I don't believe is that a cute 24 year old grad student kept eyeing him from across the room trying to get his phone number. After the drunk guy left, the grad student came up to my boss and asked for his phone number but didn't have a pen to write it down with so he left. That is complete bullshit. There are pens all over the place, and gay men will get a phone number quicker than they get goosebumps under an air conditioner.

Why do people have to make up stories like that? I think the last time I lied to get attention was when I was in elementary school. I told my friends that I was totally into the transformers and that I'd seen every episode. I did it to fit in and to get people to like me. I was nine years old.

My boss is well into his forties and he's making shit up to impress me or to make me wish I was him. Yeah that'll happen. I so wish I could be in my forties and still try to pull off the faux hawk and the tight gap jeans with the big belt buckle. I so wish that.

I don't need to make up crazy stories about my life because my life is already crazy on its own. I'd be more impressed if he told me that he stood at the bar looking desperate and the only person who talked to him asked for the time.