Mole Cajole

For months, I've been toying with the notion that I need to remove the moles on my face. I just thought that in order to be beautiful, I need a mole-free mug. But when I talked to my doctor about referring me to a dermatologist, he had that cartoon character question mark above his head as he looked at me puzzled. My doctor has guided me through many rough patches in my life, including the addiction and the depression. He wondered why I was worried about something as superficial as a mole-free face, especially after having survived two potentially life-threatening instances. He said I was gorgeous, but that's what cute people tell others. That stirred my pot a little, but not enough to change my mind right then and there.

It wasn't until I talked to another friend of mine that I decided against the procedure. He did it in a very surreptitious manner, asking me questions and forcing me to come to my own conclusions. He asked me: "Why do you want to look like everyone else? Beauty is in the individuality of the person."

At that moment, everything came into perspective. I had flashbacks of all of times that I aksed people what they thought of me removing my moles. All of my close friends and family thought it was ridiculous to do it, and all of the people I would only know for a few hours told me to go ahead and get rid of them. I felt like the guy in a comedy club that finally got the meaning of a joke ten minutes after everyone else.

I don't know where the crazy idea came from. Why didn't I see that the people who really mattered to me didn't care what I looked like on the outside. I also wouldn't want to be with someone who urged me to change something about my body. God, that's just insane. Beauty comes from the energy we project when we're around others. It's a feeling that makes other people feel good.

A lot of gay people in my life have a different definition of what beauty is. They think it's clear skin, washboard abs, Abercrombie white boiz who sport faux-hawks and are dumber than plaster. These are the same gay people who are alone and bitter. Go fig!