Real Gay Sports

All the traumatic sports experiences from my childhood have really made it hard for me to join up with any sports team. From always being picked last because I threw like a girl to the horrific 'baseball to the head' injury and my coach's advice to just WALK IT OFF, I've never found it easy to get into anything like that.

I once saw a documentary on the Chicago Dragons, a rugby team made up of mostly gay men, but it didn't capture my interest. It just seemed pretty boring. It was just like any other sports team that you see on television and I was expecting some major fun and sexy stuff because it was a gay sports team. It was more of a sports team with gay people on it. They get up, they practice, they do the standard pre-game prayer huddle, and then they go home and drink beer. I don't know about you, but I like my sports sensationalized, dramatic, and chock full of showboating!

Playing the amazingly addictive Mario Strikers Charged got me thinking about how gay sports should really be. Nintendo really hit the nail on the head with this game. It has colorful characters, huge stadiums filled with screaming fans, an electrified play area that shocks anyone who goes out of bounds, and a princess who kicks a mechanical soccer ball around without messing up her hair or the crown on her head.

I'd also like to mention that after talking to someone at Sidetrack this past weekend, I think that Quidditch is not that bad of a thing. It consists of goggle-clad wizards on broomsticks, flying around and throwing balls into rings while dodging bigger balls. Goggles, balls, and bigger balls... that sounds like a Saturday evening in my bedroom.

Along that line, there's Sasuke which you can catch on the G4 network as Ninja Warrior. It's basically a crazy huge obstacle course, but it is so interesting to watch because the types of obstacles are nothing like you'd see on American Gladiators.

It's our duty as gay men to provide fun and excitement to the world, especially when it comes to sports. We could really build a solid fan base if we take cues from Mario Strikers, Quidditch, and Ninja Warrior. When you think about it, each competition involves outstanding feats of strength and skill with a little bit of flair and cool accoutrement. You also can't take your eyes off of it for a second or else you'll miss something, and that's exactly what one of my best non-gay friends said when she talked about how she loved being around gay people.