Yes, bitch! We're gay!

For my birthday yesterday I decided to get tickets to see a musical here in Chicago because I'm so gay. When I was deciding how I would be spending the day, my brain immediately flashed "MUSICAL" and I was buying tickets to Disney's "High School Musical" before I knew it.

Before the show began, I was chatting it up with my friend Scott. We talked about many things, including the hotness of the sound guy in the back and how some of the ushers were obviously 'family.' The woman in front of us turned and looked back at me. Then she whispered to her husband and I saw that she mouthed the word "gay," which prompted him to turn and get an eyeful of all our gayness. They looked at each other and laughed, possibly because they don't get to see a lot of fabulous gays in downtown Shaumburg.

During a part of the show where the basketball captain puts his hand on the gay boy's shoulder, and the audience just thinks that it's the funniest thing in they'd ever seen. I love how homosexuality is still an enormous joke to everyone in the world. During the thunderous laughter, the woman in front of us turns around to look at me and Scott, so I say "WHAT?" really loudly. She turned back around and I noticed that her eyeball was turned around to try to look at us even though her head was facing forward. What a loser.

Part of me wanted to mount Scott right there and stick my tongue down his throat, just to piss the suburbanites off. I could have also went ape shit right there, but there were some very cute kids around and I didn't want them to think that all gay men walk around with chips on their shoulders. There really wasn't any way to stick it to her AND come out smelling like roses, so the only thing I could do was to let it go.

Scratch that! There is one thing I could have done. As we were leaving, I could have pointed to her husband and said out loud: I saw that guy at the Lucky Horseshoe. The Lucky Horseshoe. The Lucky Horseshoe. I saw Marge Simpson do it once when she wanted her kids to understand that Springfield was "a part of us all." She would have remembered the Lucky Horseshoe from me repeating it twice, went home to google it, and figured out that it was a gay strip club. The seed of doubt would be planted, and their marriage would never be the same.

Wishful thinking, I know! But I was just upset at the fact that there are people out there who don't understand gay people and act rudely towards them. I've been living in a place for such a long time where I feel comfortable being who I am without fear of mockery or violence (mainly because I can kick ass if the situation called for it). Then I look at the rude woman's daughter and realize that she's going to grow up to be the next Ann Coulter and it makes me mad.

What we need to do is educate the younger children and let them know that it's okay if their uncles kiss boys or their aunts 'room mate' is actually her live-in girlfriend. We'd never make fun of others the way the woman at the show made fun of us... unless we saw her wearing culottes. Then we'd have some words!