Nature's Wrath... again - or, "I'm praying for number three"

DISCLAIMER!

It may seem like it at first, but this is not one of those blog topics where I write about the mundane details of my day. I really hate those types of blogs and I would never subject you to it, but just bear with me. There is a point to the first few paragraphs, I swear!

Yesterday morning at the gym, I saw a news clip where a man was struggling to start his gas-powered lawn motor. He tried pulling the ripcord several times and I wondered why the heck they were reporting on something so dull.

I went to the CVS later that afternoon in search of artificial sweetener for my work coffee and I passed the canned goods. For some reason, Spam was prominently displayed on the shelf and I thought "I could really go for a Spamwich. That could be my sinful indulgence this week."

Around 3:30 yesterday afternoon (for those of you who don't live in Chicago and don't watch the news), we were hit with a pretty nasty storm, complete with heavy winds that knocked out trees. It didn't phase me at all because I'd seen this type of thing before, having lived in Guam some time ago. Wind? Rain? Psha.

Today I couldn't stop hearing about the bloody storm. Storm this, storm that. Trees were knocked down, wind speeds were in the upper 80 miles per hour bracket, someone lost their ass virginity in the storm, yada yada yada. I was pretty sick of listening to everyone try to top each other's stories about how bad they thought the storm affected their dreary lives when in fact it really didn't, especially because this type of storm was NOTHING compared to what I went through in the summer of 1992 in Guam.

I'd just turned thirteen and I was living in Guam with my grandparents and my sister. One day at the end of August, my grandfather made me help him take in some lawn furniture and various tools because of some storm that was coming our way. That storm turned out to be Typhoon Omar.

The typhoon ravaged the island for hours. Against my grandparents' warnings, I opened the door and went out into the garage area to catch a glimpse of the chaos. I saw the rain blowing sideways. I saw lots of pieces of tin roofing flying through the air and into cars and houses. I saw children's toys blowing down the street, and I even saw various small animals swept away in the 140 mph winds.

Because of Omar, we were without power and cable for weeks. Fortunately for us, we had a portable gas-powered electric generator so we had air conditioning and a usable refrigerator. But I remember having the worst luck getting our power generator to start up. It was pretty hard for a 90 lb shrimp of a thirteen year old to get that ripcord going. The internal startup workings of a power generator are similar to that of a ripcord on a lawn mower. Ripcord? Hmm...

We also had to boil all of our water before drinking it and we were forced to cook canned food over propane stoves. I remember having to eat Spam for an entire month because it was hard to find fresh food in stores that were without power. Spam? Hmm...

On a hunch, I wikipedia-ed Typhoon Omar and found that it formed on August 24, 1992. Guam is sixteen hours ahead of us, which means that Chicago's August 23 storm would have happened in Guam on August 24!!!

The lawnmower news byte, the spam I saw in the store, and a storm on the fifteen year anniversary of one of the biggest storms ever... what could this all mean?

I've narrowed it down to three possibilities:

1. This is all one big coincidence and I am reading too much into it. I need to get a life and I need to stop looking for things that aren't there.

2. A mad scientist with control over the weather and a strong dislike for me has found that I am now living in Chicago. He chose the fifteen year anniversary of his first attempt to off me to unleash another storm because he's one of those villains who loves nostalgia. An unknown ally with psychic powers sent me messages in the form of the lawnmower ripcord news byte and the spam on the store shelves in order to remind me of the first storm.

3. I'm going to get laid soon. Every time I'm hit with major full-circle type coincidences like three Dolly Parton songs playing on my iPod when I set it to shuffle on the day that Dolly Parton opened Dollywood, I end up having amazing sex with someone.

I don't know about you, but I'm praying for number three.