Fags With Flags

I just got back from my trip to Guam in time for Market Days here in Chicago. I've only been there once before, and I still don't know how it came to be. I just know that the gays love it and there were way too many booths selling tie dye and stained glass.

As I walked through the crowd, I noticed a small Filipino man wearing a large backpack and I immediately recognized him from a picture I saw many months ago. It was a real Beatrix Kiddo/Kill Bill moment, complete with sirens and a red flashback with my eyes all big and angry. The man in the picture was the man who my now ex boyfriend dated after we broke up. I know this because I hacked into my ex boyfriend's e-mail account and downloaded the picture a couple of weeks after we split up. I know it's fucked up, but this was when I was on drugs so I wasn't thinking clearly.

Anyway, the dude was pretty gross. He's always going around with chain flags in his backpack and whipping them out during a gay festival like Pride day or Market Days. He finds a place where there's music playing and he spins the flags like some 37 year old colorguard wannabe who couldn't make the squad when he was younger so he's trying to make up for it by spinning them around the gays. UH! He's just gross. I pointed him out to these straight girls I was dancing with and they were grossed out as well. One of them said that "he looks like a small animal with rainbow flags in his hands." The other girl just stared in horror like her will to live had been sucked out of her by witnessing the pathetic twirling.

I've visited his website (don't ask me how I know that he has a website) and it further reinforced my firm disgust for the creature. He can't spell and he has problems forming complete sentences. He's also a stupid head. When the latter thought popped into my head, it forced me to consider why I was so worked up over something so meaningless.

When you break up with someone, aren't you supposed to go up to the next level? Aren't you supposed to find someone better than the last one? If that's the case, then I rank one step above snail slime and one step below Jackie Stallone. The only thing I can think of is that my ex boyfriend was still on drugs and his brain chemicals were all jumbled so he was seeing my fabulousness as bad and the flag boy's troglodyteness as the best thing to happen to him since he discovered the moving walkways at the airport.