I'll Cover You

I usually argue the old adage "you can't judge a book by its cover" because you really can judge a book by its cover. Whenever you're buying a book in a book store, don't you always want the one that's in the best shape? You take the one from the back of the stack because it's usually very crisp and doesn't have a lot of wear because it's been touched by hundreds of men. I could just be thinking of boys and not books, but aren't they interchangeable?

Speaking of covers, the cover of this week's issue of the Gay Chicago features two shirtless men against a computer-rendered background of red hearts and it's titled "Happy Valentine's Day." After reading the magazine, I must admit that it left me with a bad taste in my mouth... and not in the usual way.

I rely on the Gay Chicago for a lot of my entertainment, gay news, and social planning. The issue was great, including the reviews and the pictures from the weekend. I love seeing if any of my inebriated friends make it into the picture section so I can laminate it and put it on my refrigerator. A large part of why I enjoyed it this week was the wonderful interview with Olympia Dukakis. I think she's an absolute gem and I've been a fan since I saw her in Moonstruck (and "Look Who's Talking," I admit it). I also have to mention that any cast member from the movie "Steel Magnolias" gets an automatic VIP in the gay community.

My problem with the cover was that it wasn't relevant to what was inside the issue. The title of the cover was "Happy Valentine's Day, yet there were no Valentine's Day themed articles in it.

I asked the people at Gay Chicago why Olympia wasn't featured more prominently on the cover, but I still haven't heard back from them. The title of the interview was "Olympia Dukakis: The Interview" which suggests that it's sort of a big deal, so why not put her face on the front? It couldn't be because they couldn't get a picture. One of the recent covers had a screen capture of Jake Gyllenhaal doing the monologue of Saturday Night Live, it's not like there was a shortage of Olympia Dukakis material floating around.

I then saw that Olympia's picture really was on there, but it was a tiny little picture in the upper right hand corner that is dwarfed by the two shirtless men. Maybe that's how people perceive the homosexual's attention span. Well not all of us get mesmerized by hot men, so there. If you want to mesmerize me, then put a picture of someone cleaning my house on the cover of a magazine.