Queen, you're no Jack Kennedy!

Last week I attended a party full of gay men and was accused of being part of the reason why this country is so messed up. That is a very serious accusation that caught me completely off guard, partly because I've always thought of myself as a positive contributer to our society. I'm a registered organ/tissue/marrow donor, I pay my taxes, and I always hiss and make hooting noises at the television whenever I see Nancy Grace talking. What more do you want from me?

It all started when one of the conversations turned political. I wondered out loud how the gay men of the world would fare in a country led by some of the presidential hopefuls, which prompted one of the outspoken queens to flip his imaginary hair and ask me, point blank, who I'd vote for on Tuesday.

I responded with my usual response:

"I'll vote for whoever can hold their own in various American Gladiators events. How great would it be to know that the leader of the free world can scale a giant padded pyramid in less than sixty seconds? If I were a terrorist, I'd be scared of that."

The actual phrasing varies in every situation, but the basic idea is there.

This prompted the outspoken queen to take off his imaginary earrings and imaginary Lee press-on nails so he could lay into me, and that's when he accused me of being part of the reason why this country was so messed up. According to him, people my age should be more aware of the issues that affect the country and that making jokes about something so important probably means that I won't care about voting.

I didn't get a chance to respond to that because the player piano started to play "Oops! I Did it Again!" and everyone got a big laugh out of it, which provided enough laughter to draw the outspoken and obviously drunk queen's attention away from me.

I don't like to talk about politics because EVERYONE has their own opinion about it and they all think that theirs is the right opinion, which makes EVERYONE want to respond to everyone else's views. All of a sudden, we're in Wolf Blitzer's "Situation Room" instead of a fun party where I should be enjoying myself.

I don't ever discuss who I'm going to vote for because it's nobody's business. Just because my television screen doesn't have the CNN logo burned into it from having it on twenty four hours a day doesn't mean that I'm messing up the country.