The Obligatory Gay Orgy Post

How do you know when you've "arrived?" Is it when you move into a building where the door person calls you 'sir' or 'madame?' Is it when UPS assigns you your very own delivery man to handle all of the presents at your lavish wedding? Is it when you manage to snag fantastic seats for an opening night gala at the opera? Is it when you walk into an Hermes boutique and aren't turned away when you want to get in after normal business hours? Heavens, no! You haven't TRULY arrived until you've been invited to a gay orgy at a swanky hotel!

Planning a gay orgy is a lot like assembling a task force for a covert CIA operation. You always have your best men on the job. You want to make sure that everything goes smoothly and that there are no casualties. Everyone involved has to participate as a team or else the mission will fail. You also can't have one person who is better at everything than everyone else. Balance individual talents and strengths and weed out the weak and slow, and everything will happen the way it was meant to happen. Orgies are always fun because guys always want to perform at their peaks, so you'll always walk away from one with at least two sore areas on your body.

I was recently invited to a hotel orgy, and I must admit that I was a tiny bit giddy. I'm the type of CIA agent that does better on solo missions, but to be chosen for a team objective is definitely an honor! I saw the other guys who would be attending and they were very snacky! I quickly went over in my mind what kinds of fun things I could do to stand out. Then I remembered that nobody likes an orgy upstager. If you've ever seen "The Other Side of Aspen IV," you'd know which faking bottom I am talking about. He was the one who had to be the loudest and sweatiest so that everyone would turn their heads to look at him. Orgies are a group effort, and it's very tacky to be the moaning power bottom.

If you are lucky enough to participate in a hot gay hotel orgy, just remember to have fun. It's not like you're interviewing for a job on Wall Street. Relax, open wide, and get ready for a right pounding! Just make sure that you're playing safe and that nobody is cracked out. There's nothing more annoying than being a bottom and waiting for the dude to get hard because he's snorted a half ton of crystal meth. Boo! Hugs, not drugs!