Importance

It's been difficult to write blog entries that are new and exciting, so I decided to use one of those online topic generators to help things along. The first prompt that came up read "list things that are very important to you." This was indeed a stroke of fortune because I think that listing things that are important to me will help people understand the uniqueness of this blog. To keep things simple, I'll just make a numbered list and discuss each item.

• It's important to stay informed about current events. The three most important letters in the world are "C N N." Nobody cares about what goes on in Port Charles because the world is waiting to see what witty things are going to come out of Anderson Cooper's mouth. I watch so much CNN that the logo is burned into the bottom left hand corner of my television screen.

• Too much technology is a bad thing. Our ancestors didn't have Tivo and they were able to survive. How much more fun can you have reading The Da Vinci Code for the fifteenth time instead of mindlessly tapping away at a Nintendo DS? LOTS!

• Never have a one night stand with someone you picked up at a bar. Bar chastity is one of the few unspoiled treasures that gay men have. If you start spreading your legs for any hot man who buys you shots of Jim Bean, then the whole community will start whispering behind your back like you were in elementary school: "Raunchy Richie whose crotch is itchy. He's such a whore and he's always bitchy!" Take my advice and don't go out to bars thinking that sex is the only thing that matters.

• I love having sex with women. Every time I have sex with my boyfriend, I imagine that I'm a Dutch soccer player and that he's a girl with a strap on. I love the softness of a woman and the way her body trembles when I take her to that moment of ecstasy as our bodies undulate in an explosion of sexual energy.

• I especially love April Fools Day. And if you haven't already figured out that this post is a joke, then you don't know me as well as you think you do!