I can't think of a catchy title, but it's got something to do with sex

My friend Scott and I have been discussing a very handsome man who we see all the time. He's extremely attractive, very pleasant to talk to, and he's got a good job. When the question came up whether or not I would consider pursuing him, I noted that I didn't think it would work out between me and the guy because both of us were bottoms.

There really isn't a way to find out if someone is a bottom or a top without the situation being socially awkward for either of the men involved. That's why we have to modify our behavior with body language or witty remarks in order to figure out if we fit sexually. I've talked to the cute guy on several occasions and deployed my entire arsenal of tactics and I came to the conclusion that we are both bottoms. There is the 1% chance that he actually is that rough-and-tumble top that would wake me up in the middle of the night and give me a good pounding that leaves various fluid stains on my sheets, but I wouldn't want to bother with someone if it has to be such an intricate mystery to be solved. My time is precious.

Scott then brought up a valid point and said that it's stupid for people to analyze others sexually and that they can be missing out on something really good if they make judgments about someone based solely on whether or not they take it up the ass. But I think that it's VERY important to make sure that the sexual aspect of being with someone is addressed before anything gets too serious. You can't have a monogamous relationship with another man if there is some type of sexual problem involved.

I think it's total bullshit when people say that it doesn't matter what happens in bed. It always matters. If one guy in the relationship has sexual needs that the other guy isn't fulfilling (whether it's amount of sex or how the sex is delivered), then that person is going to get it any way he can.

It's really not as complicated as people think it is. We're all driven by primal instincts over which we have no control. We have to eat, we have to breathe, and we have to get our rocks off. Before anything else in our lives, these basic needs must be met or else we cease functioning. They are the physiological needs of the human body and they can't be ignored. Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs comes to mind. If I am a bottom, then I need a top. It's as simple as that.

Can you imagine two bottoms getting together? What are they going to do, make tortillas?