Gullible's Travels

I saw Andy last week and he told me that Wednesday was Hump Day. I'd never heard of Hump Day and I just assumed that it was another phony holiday like Sweetest Day.

Side rant:
Sweetest Day? I'd never heard of it until I moved to Chicago. It's a stupid made-up holiday that gives couples another chance to act like dopes in public. They delude themselves into thinking that they're better than single people because they can walk around with flowers and they assume that single people will be jealous of them that they're going home to see their lover. The truth is that their lover is fucking the neighbor and getting syphilis. Sweetest Day, MY ASS!

Back to Hump Day...

Andy told me that Hump Day was a day on which you were supposed to have sex with someone. I was thinking that you meet someone on the street and you both say to each other: "Hump Day?" Then you go back to your place and shag his brains out, all the while thinking that you fulfilled your duty as an American citizen. You pull up your pants, wipe your mouth, and salute the nearest American flag.

I asked a lot of people I know about Wednesday being Hump Day and they told me that it was because it was the middle of the week and after Wednesday, you get over the 'hump' of the week and it's closer to the weekend. Then I realized that I got bamboozled yet again. I'm just too naive sometimes.

Remember the Bloody Mary urban legend in elementary school? We'd all go into the boys bathroom and they'd turn out the lights so that someone can recite BLOODY MARY three times. After the third time, she was supposed to appear in the mirror and kill everyone in the bathroom. I was the little pussy who believed in it and would run away during the second BLOODY MARY. I only went in there because I'd be alone with boys in a dark bathroom, which was one of my favorite fantasies as a child.