Twelve Alligators

I really hate it when people at the gym fill their water bottles at the water fountains. It never fails! I am always waiting behind someone who is filling their fuckin water bottle and it pisses me off. I'm "estomping" my last season Pradas at the whore in front of me who is totally NOT sweating or about to collapse from dehydration. This one tramp in particular filled her bottle, then took a long sip from the fountain. I had my watch and saw that it took her two minutes and she didn't even apologize or look apologetic. I yelled at her as she walked away: "That was like 12 alligators, bitch!"

Confused? You won't be after this episode of Soap. Ha ha. No seriously, I wasn't feeling the effects of water-loss. That statement did make sense. When I was in kindergarten, our teacher devised a method of keeping time for each kid at the water fountain. We'd all be in a line we'd count out loud as the kid at the fountain drank: "One alligator, two alligator, three alligator..." Each kid would be allowed five alligators worth of water. So when that gym whore took an extra sip, I counted to myself and realized that she took twelve alligators. People can be so greedy.