A Hollaback Christmas

If you want to use a Christmas tree to let the world know that you're a big flaming queer, you can always take the easy path and deck it out with rainbow flags, disco balls, martini glasses, or various phallic-shaped objects. I prefer a less obvious approach.

I present to you my entry for "Chicago's Gayest Christmas Tree." As you can see, I've got the lovely Gwen Stefani as my tree topper. This is the outfit she wore on TRL last year to promote her second solo album, The Sweet Escape. I also decorated the tree with gold ornaments and reproductions of the G key necklace that she wears. She's holding a little ornament, saying "I had a kid and look amazing in these shorts, but that doesn't mean that I can't help you decorate your Gwen-tastic Christmas tree!" I then thank Gwen for helping make this holiday all the more special, then realize that I'm talking to a doll.

If you still don't think that it's gay enough, take a look at the calendar I have in the back behind the tree. Why, it's the super yummy Jake Gyllenhaal! He's peeking from behind, making sure that Gwen isn't stringing more than three strands of lights together. It's a fire hazard!

I'm allowed to be silly at least once a year, so please don't think any less of me. Have a hollaback holiday, everyone!